Recently on Facebook, there was about a week where every day, amazing looking recipes would appear in your News Feed, brought to life by spectacular time-lapse technology. I saved a number of them but have so far tried only one.

hambananas
Ta-da! Just kidding. Imagine if Facebook was around in the 1970s; this is what would have been showing up.

The night in question saw me also slow cook a Beef and Red Wine casserole – of which the less said, the better – and a chocolate mud cake. However, the crowning glory of the evening was my aforementioned foray into Facebook cookery – namely, Tiger Loaf with Baked Camembert. Truly, this was one for the ages.

I took to the kitchen with my usual flair (read: dangerous inexperience and a lack of care with sharp objects). The recipe asks you to take a large sized tiger loaf, sometimes known as a hedgehog loaf, and cut a section out of the top of it using an appropriately-sized wheel of camembert as a guide. You then slice the top off the camembert and pop it in the hole. When baked, the rind of the cheese retains its structural integrity, so cheese doesn’t run out through the bread.

Over the course of the afternoon, I had been prepping for the evening’s meal. I stank out the kitchen preparing for this dish – 8 tablespoons of olive oil, five finely chopped cloves of garlic, and two tablespoons of rosemary sat in a bowl becoming delightfully aromatic. The official recipe calls for three cloves of garlic, but only a fool adds the pathetic amount of garlic recipes ask for. The ultimate purpose of this mixture of stuff is to spoon it into the cracks created by cross-hatching the bread either side of the camembert into squares, not quite all the way to the bottom of the loaf. Of course, as is usual when I’m in the kitchen, I wasn’t careful enough with a knife and ended up lopping a sizeable chunk out of the top of my left index finger, which weeks later has still not fully healed. Let’s just say I’m dedicated to my craft.

Essence of Myles duly dispensed, I returned to the task at hand, sprinkling the loaf with freshly ground salt and then baking it for about half an hour.

WHOOOOOAAAAAHHHH NELLIE.

cheesemadness
This panel about cheese fondue from Asterix in Switzerland is curiously prescient.

This was the single best thing I had ever cooked and one of the best things I had ever eaten. Baked camembert is a joy, and the garlicky bread was a perfect complement when covered in it. Not only this, but the marinade mixture would be perfect for making normal garlic bread, sans cheese.

People say social media is a bad thing, but if it leads to this sort of joyous discovery, then what’s not to love? $10 of ingredients, the most expensive of which is the camembert, for so much wonder and happiness. A bargain at twice the price! I foresee this becoming a staple of my repertoire, for all those fancy dinner parties I’m not having.


To make a carbicide of your own, here’s what to do:

1 whole camembert, packaging removed
1 large loaf of bread
3 fat cloves garlic, finely chopped (though I recommend 5)
2 tbsps rosemary, finely chopped
8 tbsps olive oil
Sea salt flakes/ground rock salt

How to make it

Using the bottom of your camembert box as a stencil, cut a hole in the middle of the loaf. Tear away.

Carefully cut your loaf into a cross-hatch pattern either side of the hole, being careful not to cut into the hole itself.

Turn the cheese on its side and cut the top off.

Put the exposed cheese face up in your bread hole.

Mix the rosemary and garlic into your olive oil and spoon all over the loaf, encouraging the liquid into the bread. Cover the loaf liberally with salt, pop a little sprig of rosemary in the middle of the cheese and bake for 25 minutes at 170 degrees. 

Dunk and enjoy. 


For more of my stories of kitchen-centric antics, click here.
For other things I’ve written about food, click here.

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